‘Princesses: Long Island’ episode 7 recap: Top 5 lessons learned

Last night on “Princesses” the focus shifted from the partying and the shopping and the egregious Drink Hanky product placement, right back to the show’s most important and central theme: Landing a rich guy.

Chanel visits her rabbi for love advice and goes on a date with the best man from her sister’s wedding, Amanda and Jeff move closer to marriage, and Erica considers cohabiting with Rob.

What we found most striking about this most recent episode, though, was not just the evolution of the women’s romantic lives, but how they are all personally evolving, too. The members of this Jew crew may not be officially pursuing any advanced degrees, but they’re getting a heck of a lot out of the school of life. At this rate a couple of them might become bonafide grown ups by the time they reach 40. Not bad, considering where they started.

Here, the biggest lessons of the evening:

1. Chanel learns that acting like a princess won’t just get you on TV—it’s kosher too.

Putting everything into perspective, Chanel’s rabbi, who she has sought out in the hopes he will save her from old maidenhood, asks her to remember the plight of the Jewish people throughout history. They were strong, and she is one of them. She has to remind herself, he tells her (with “Fiddler on the Roof” type music playing in the background), that she is a princess—and she should act like one. “Be inspired by who you are and that will give you strength to overcome challenges.”

“You know what, Rabbi Cohen is right,” Chanel says, after it all sinks in. “If my people can go through thousands of years of hardship, finding a guy should be a piece of cake.” Amen.

2. Erica learns she’s not ready to have kids.

When the realtor tasked with taking Erica and Rob house shopping mentions the couple’s future children, Erica blanches. “I don’t want to lose my vagina,” she says, after expressing concern over the weight gain and swollen ankles that come with pregnancy.

Now that she has come to this important realization, maybe Erica will soon take some time out to brush up on her cliches. No Erica, the eagle doesn’t “fly the coop.”

3. Amanda learns kosher restaurants won’t serve non-kosher food, even if you order it in your most sing-songiest voice.

At lunch with her boyfriend Jeff and his parents, Amanda takes time out from making horrible tongue sandwich jokes to order an actual sandwich. When the waitress at the kosher deli explains that turkey with swiss is a no-go, Amanda looks stunned.

Don’t get her wrong—she understands that mixing meat with dairy isn’t allowed, but that doesn’t mean she has to like it. “Babs keeps our house kosher, but when I go out, I’m half Italian, so bring on the pepperoni pizza bagel.” Sorry Mands, Deli King don’t play that way.

4. Joey learns things haven’t changed much since fourth grade.

Ashlee and Joey’s fight from last week is still going strong, and the two meet up to sling babyish insults at one another. It all hits the fan when Joey calls Ashlee “funny looking.”

“How dare you attack someone’s looks!” Ashlee says incredulously, as if Joey has just broken a law. Then she calls her dad, and Joey cries.

Looks like someone is going to be throwing out the “be fri” portion of her best friends necklace pretty soon!

5. Ashlee learns how to cook frozen broccoli.

Haha, just kidding. She does squint at the puzzling directions on the back of the bag and then hand it right over to her dad, though. That’s a start, right?