Gwyneth Paltrow on GQ’s list of “Least Influential People of 2011”

After decades of lurking in the shadows of blond diablerie, frizzy-haired Jewish girls are finally getting much needed validation. GQ recently released their list of “Least Influential People of 2011”, and seeing Gwyneth Paltrow’s name on that list stirred up deep feelings of smugness. While I definitely did not agree with all nominees (calling Obama “least influential” seems a tad hyperbolic), I certainly applauded their choices of female contenders. However, the golden-tressed Jewess was a cut above. While it was satisfying to see surly mouthed January Jones on that list, there are many hot broads of the non-Tribe variety who still managed to dodge this bullet. GQ didn’t prove anything monumental here.

Paltrow, on the other hand, represents a whole new breed of lady-threat; she is the anti-Jewish Jewish girl. Blonde, skinny, and chilly as an English monarch, no one would ever believe that she comes from Ashkenazi rabbinic lineage. But she does, and therefore we all look frumpy in comparison. Call me petty, but it just feels sooo good to know that GQ thinks she sucks. Not only did she not contribute anything worthwhile this year, but they totally scorned her efforts to write a cookbook. A cookbook! The one thing that balebustas in the making should be able to pull off. Hehehehehehe!