Remembering Gavriel and Rivkah Holtzberg

By Benjamin Holtzman · November 28, 2008

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SYDNEY, Australia (JTA) -- Just minutes ago I heard the terrible news that five Israeli hostages were found dead inside the Chabad center at Nariman House in Mumbai. Although the media have not officially confirmed their identities yet, it seems quite certain that they are Chabad Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg; his wife, Rivkah, an Israeli couple; and another Israeli.

After having been glued to the news for two days straight, relentlessly combing through twitter updates, news reports and blogs, I am totally exhausted. Yet I feel compelled to write something about these great people I knew.

I lived in Mumbai for six months last year and would go to the Beit Chabad with friends for a Shabbat meal about every second week. Over the course of six months we got to know the rabbi and his wife quite well.

They were wonderful people: warm, inviting and engaging. Gabi would get visibly excited to have so many guests for Shabbat; you could tell it really made his week. He would have a grin on his face almost the entire meal, including during his d'var Torah. He was always so eager to create a communal feeling that he insisted everyone go around the table and say a few words to the group, giving guests four options: either delivering a d'var Torah, relating an inspirational story, declaring to take on a mitzvah or leading a song.

As most of the guests were Israeli backpackers and others passing through, they might have found this quite novel. For the regulars it was just Gabi’s shtick. I can still hear him reciting those four options to the group now, as if he had discovered some miraculous way to make everyone involved in the Shabbat with no escape, impressed by his own genius week in and out. He had a devilish smile; you could really see the child still in him, just beneath the surface.

Gabi was exceptionally thoughtful, too. Though most of the guests were Israeli, Gabi would give his d'var Torah in English for the sake of the few of us English speakers with sketchy Hebrew, so we would understand. Sometimes he spoke line by line first in English, then Hebrew. Gabi would start discussions and made it his personal mission to get everyone talking, to make a group of disconnected Jews feel like a family. It worked. That was Gabi.

Rivki was a certified sweetheart. She’d generally sit apart from Gabi, to spread herself out, and usually sat with the girls. She also relished the Friday-night dinners -- I think she needed her weekly female bonding time. She’d talk to the girls about the challenges of keeping kosher in India and share exciting new finds at the market together.

You could tell she was far from home, in this dense Mumbai jungle, but she was tough and really made the best of it. She would balance Gabi’s presence, occasionally making comments to people at her table while Gabi was speaking -- not as a sign of disrespect, but to keep the people around her having a good time. That was Rivki: brave, fun-loving and super sweet.

Perhaps the greatest testament to their character was simply the fact that they lived in downtown Mumbai for years. Having lived there for just six months, I understand how incredibly taxing just existing in the city is. Even when trying to relax, the city still seems to suck the life out of you. Living as Westerners in modest conditions in the thick of Mumbai, with the restrictions of kashrut and Shabbat, is certainly no small feat.

I’m not sure if they were thrilled with their placement in Mumbai, but they certainly made a good go of it. They were only a few years older than me, in their late 20s, and despite being far from friends and family and perhaps not in the most exciting Chabad placement (compared to Bangkok, Bogota or Bondi), they kept positive and built a beautiful bastion of Jewish goodness.

They chose a life that demonstrated such altruism and care, in the truest sense. The Mumbai Chabad really made a difference to my time in India, and made me feel that much more at home in such a foreign country.

It was at Gabi and Rivki’s where I met Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, the famous Jewish author. It was at Gabi and Rivki’s where I randomly bumped into friends of friends from back home. It was to Gabi and Rivki’s where we brought our non-Jewish Indian friends who became curious about Judaism. It was at Gabi and Rivki’s where a girl I would later fall for first developed feelings for me, when I brought her some water while she lay sick on the sofa from Indian food poisoning. She was being nursed by Rivki.

We often hear about tragedies in distant, disconnected places and feel frustratingly estranged from them. We want to connect, but can't; we feel as though in a different world. And mere numbers, names and images don’t amount to much.

I hope I’ve been able to paint a small picture of two of the victims of the Mumbai terror attacks, which claimed more than 170 lives and left hundreds injured.

I know they would have been brave throughout the whole ordeal. Though unconfirmed, it is likely they would have been murdered right as Shabbat was coming in. I feel that this would have provided them with comfort, knowing that they departed this world in a time of peace. I also know the knowledge that their 2-year old son, Moishe, managed to escape in the arms of his nanny would have provided them with great comfort in their final hours. When I would look at the young Moishe I would see Gabi’s face and Rivki’s carefree spirit.

Chabad lost two soldiers today, emissaries and keepers of the Jewish people. Let us honor their work and their lives in our prayers, in our thoughts and in our deeds, and let us pray for the families of the dozens of other victims of these attacks. May all their souls rest in peace, and may we see an end to violence in our time.

Benjamin Holtzman lived six months in Mumbai while serving as a volunteer for the American Jewish World Service.

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Lindsay Stricke

11/28/08 06:43 PM

Thank you Ben for sharing this. I agree that they were brave soldiers who faced all of life’s challenges with devotion to Judaism and love for people. My fiance Will and I spent three months in Mumbai in the Spring, and we went to Gavi and Rivki’s for shabbat dinner many times and spent Passover seder and dinners with them. I am so horrified and saddened by this tragic, tragic loss to the whole world. Their courage and generosity were felt by all who visited, stayed and ate with this beautiful family. May we only remember them with blessing.

Nandarani

11/29/08 02:25 AM

I got to know “Gavi and Rivki” over the last 36 hours by reading the New York Times. I awoke today, in Hawaii, and checked the Times, and learned what happened to them and to you, the Jewish community and particularly BROOKLYN. I am writing because I wanted some kind of forum to express my feelings: I’m not Jewish but since I am from New York and have worked with many wonderful Jewish people, I want to express my strong feelings of - wanting to let the community in Brooklyn, and the parents, friends and relatives know that someone (many people actually I am sure) cares a LOT about you now. I am sure Rivki and Gavi are fine and it is a miracle about the survival of their son. I hope to write to the New York Times to ask them to do follow up stories on the nurse/cook, and the son Moshe. The story of Rivki and Gavi it seems could be made into a movie. This entire thing reminded me of Daniel Pearl. I am sorry to bring that up but it is the truth. With aloha. Nandarani

Zev Brown

11/30/08 11:02 AM

Mumbai - India situation is probably one of the most tragic happening in our life time , it’s painful to comment on, its so sad for all of us no difference if we knew the victims or not, its a loss for all of Klall Yisroel. May Hahem give their families and us comfort; help lead us to the ultimate Geulah in the near future, Amen.

I was thinking what lesson can I take from this tragedy for my self, please allow me to share a couple of points that I have derived from this situation, to try and better myself, I am not trying to point fingers at any one, I’m simply thinking out loud.

First, We always have to remember what Chazel teach us, that NOTHING ever happens in the world by itself, everything that happened since the first moment of creation is all done and approved by Hashem Yisborch.

Second, As Jews we have to believe that what ever happens in our lifetime is good for us, even though we can’t see how something so tragic could possibly be considered good, but as we know that it’s Hashems doings it must be good for us, Hashems ways are only good he is a Ruchum V’chunun, there has to be something “good” for us hidden in every difficult situation that we are not on a level to imagine yet.

Third, The people who Hashem ended their life so suddenly must have been very great - special people, holy Neshomes, they have tremendous Zechusim, as a amall example, they where able to unite Klall Yisroel have all of us, no matter of our background, from all around the globe, Daven for their safety etc. 50 - 60 hours around the clock, when was the last time that we all felt so close to each other having Yiden all over the world pray so much, same time, for the same topic to Hashem.

Forth, Where did it happen? in a Bais Hamedresh a Shul building: lets examine our selves and see if we are careful with the full amount of respecting one has to have for a Shul / Bais Medresh as it says in Shulchan Aruch? What percentage of us can honestly say that we go to Shul JUST to Daven and not to socialize? Are we on guard not to Shmuz or not to answer our Cell / Mobil phones during Davening? Do we pray with enough Kavonah? How many keep quiet during Laning when we read from the holy Torah? (and don’t join the Kiddush club) sad to say, I have visited places that there is so much talking during Davening that’s its a Chilul Hashem to step into a so called Shul… So why do we wonder why Hashem is showing us so much anger.

Fifth, One or more of the Kedoshim at the seen was a Mashgiach for a very reliable Kashrus organization; I think it time that we are careful what we eat and whom we can trust to certify our foods, what foods enter our homes. We can’t go with the attitude when I go to a Shimcha / Kidush / Hotel / Restaurant etc. I rely totally on the Mashgiach no matter who he is, we have to go and investigate the kitchen situation see whom we are relying on, would I rely on him or her for my business advice too? Or if we hear that a cretin product is questionable do we care, or our attitude is: well it has a Kosher symbol on the packaging it’s enough for me, the rest it’s not my problem.

Sixth, The Kedoshim where reported as hostages for some time, WHY DID HASHEM MAKE THIS into a HOSTAGE SITUATION? Maybe the strong message
is: Hashem is crying out to us and saying: I (Hashem) am hostage for “two thousand years” please turn back to me, do Teshuva from the bottom of your hearts, get me back to the Bais Hamikdosh, A.S.A.P. Hashem is in great pain, being in Golus such a long time is not easy, he is waiting for us to repent, have Achdus and greet Moshiach.

May we all use this horrifying experience to get closer to Hashem, do Teshuva obey our holy Torah, and be Zocha to see with our own eyes the Geulah in the near future.

Sangram Mahapatra

11/30/08 12:37 PM

Being a citizen of India, I truly feel very sad that this terrorist attack has happened in one of our cities and the government allowed it to happen even after having intelligence reports and warnings of impending terrorist attacks. The plight of little moshe who was orphaned even before his second birthday is really heart warming and painful.

India is a country which takes great pride on showing amiable hospitality to guests and tourists. Someone coined the term “atithi devaa” which means “guests are Gods”. I guess that person must be churning in his grave because he has been proved wrong again and again. Tourists are ogled at, heckled, cheated by overcharging, females are molested and raped. And now, they are being killed by terrorists. If they do not get any security and are treated badly, why should they even come to visit India? And that will be truly detrimental to tourism in india.

I was shocked to read that an Israeli search and rescue team had come to mumbai but were not allowed to carry out an operation. They would definitely have done a better job than our own forces and little moshe would still have his parents with him. I am truly ashamed of the goverment’s inability to fight terror and stop such carnages from occurring.

May God help us all in our fight against terror !!! May we all be united in our efforts to defeat terrorist forces !!!

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